


Waking Up in Vegas

by Corrie71



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Academy Era, Accidental Marriage, Las Vegas Wedding, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-14
Updated: 2013-10-21
Packaged: 2017-12-29 08:44:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 13,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1003364
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corrie71/pseuds/Corrie71
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"How is this my life? I went to Vegas to play cards and woke up hitched to you! I mean, who did I piss off?”</p><p>	“Karma’s a bitch, Bones."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Why the hell is that sun so bright?” Jim Kirk moaned as, tired, hungover, and still slightly drunk, he and Bones McCoy stumbled off the shuttle from New Vegas onto the Starfleet Academy platform at midday on Sunday. Bones ground his teeth together and ignored him. “You can spare me the dirty looks.”

“Don’t blame me for this.” Bones ground out before clamping his mouth shut again. Though it was a short flight back from New Vegas, the ride had been turbulent, even without the hangover from hell.

“Kirk! McCoy!” A senior cadet, Marina Alvarez, stomped over to them. “You’re late back from your shore leave.” When Jim opened his mouth to argue with her, she held up a hand. “Don’t make this worse for yourself. My office. Now!”

Jim and Bones followed her across campus, resolutely not speaking to each other and definitely not thinking about the night before. They got some strange looks and some finger pointing as they walked but that was nothing really new. They entered the office behind Cadet Alvarez and, after she gestured them into the visitor chairs, sat down. Jim tried to shade his aching eyes with his hands. The fully opened blinds turned the bright afternoon sun brutal. 

“Cadet Kirk, are you aware that you have to file a permission to marry form?”

“I’m never getting married.” Jim responded instantly. 

“How about you, Doctor McCoy?”

“I’m divorced.” Jim took small, vicious comfort that Bones didn’t sound any better than he felt. 

“Oh, good, you took care of it then. The disciplinary committee will view that in your favor.” Bones and Jim exchanged glances, both mystified by this conversation. At the same time, they remembered how angry they were at each other. They glared at each other for a heartbeat and then turned back to Alvarez.

“Why will the disciplinary committee be interested in my divorce?” 

“And, I’m not sure what this has to do with me at all.” Jim added.

Alvarez looked between them, a deep furrow appearing over her nose. “Perhaps we’re not all on the same page. I’m referring to Mr. Kirk’s Academy wide announcement at 3:03 am this morning.” 

“What announcement is that?” Jim managed, ignoring another death glare from Bones. She turned her PADD to show a holo of them with an Elvis impersonator in the center. Underneath the photo the words “Galactic Wedding Chapel” flashed with a dancing “Just Married” graphic twirling on the bottom. All the breath left Jim’s body in a whoosh. Next to him, Bones sounded like he was choking.

“This must be a joke. A mistake.” Bones managed and somewhere beneath the shock, Jim felt a twinge of hurt.

“Did you two not just return from shore leave in New Vegas?” Alvarez seemed to be enjoying herself now. 

“Yes, but we gambled and drank a bit.” Jim mumbled. _Married? They got married? He was married to Bones?_

“Looks like it was more than a bit, Cadet Kirk. As you already live together, you won’t have to make any different rooming arrangements. Please complete the permission to marry forms I’m transmitting to your PADDs. Your disciplinary hearing will be next month.”

“Wait a second.” Jim glanced at Bones who still gaped down at the holographs. As Jim watched, he flipped through them. There were several of them kissing passionately. Jim swallowed against his suddenly dry mouth. He’d thought he’d dreamt that. “We’re not married. We’re not staying married at any rate, are we?”

Bones buried his face in his hands. “How did this happen? Elizabeth will kill me.”

Jim resisted, with considerable difficulty, rolling his eyes at the mention of Bones’ boring girlfriend. _Who cared what she thought?_

“A divorce takes at least six months to process. Until then, I’m afraid the Academy will consider you lawfully wed. Mazel Tov!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Jim chats with Christopher Pike, the boys start to remember their trip to Vegas.

After their meeting in Alvarez’s office, Jim and Bones could not get away from each other fast enough. He knew Bones could cure his hangover with one well placed hypospray but he didn’t even wait for that before leaving. Jim returned to their room only long enough to drop his bags before peeling out. He could not wrap his head around the concept of him and Bones being married. After witnessing his mother’s disastrous marriages, Jim never intended to be anyone’s husband. Add that to this incredibly awkward morning… Jim could not get drunk again fast enough. In fact, he hoped never to be sober again.

That night, in Jim’s favorite dive, he was busy flirting with an Orion girl when Christopher Pike found him and pulled him away.

“With respect, sir. I’m off duty.” Jim slouched on the bar stool, picking idly at the label on his beer bottle. The Orion girl had disappeared when Pike appeared.

“And why would a married man be chatting up women in bars?”

“You heard?” Jim asked miserably.

“Son, everybody heard. Some of those pictures were very flattering of you and Doctor McCoy.” Jim sighed and fought the blush creeping up his face.

“Just drunken hijinks. I’m not really married, sir.”

“You are according to Starfleet. I’d often wondered when you boys would make it official.”

“We’re not like that, sir.”

“Who do you think you’re fooling with that buddy act? You’re one step away from co-dependent as it is. Anyone can see it.”

“No, sir. It’s not like that.”

“Then how’d you end up married, son?” 

“Wish I knew.” Jim shrugged. 

“Hell of an accidental thing. I mean, it probably doesn’t indicate any deep underlying attraction or feelings or anything, right?”

Jim swallowed, trying not to think of waking up to Bones sleeping soundly, sprawled out on an enormous bed, looking very thoroughly debauched in the bright Vegas sunshine. “No sir. We’re planning to fix it.”

“And I’m sure you don’t want an adultery charge added to the disciplinary hearing you and Leonard are already facing.”

“Adultery?” Jim felt the blood drain from his face.

“You surely know the meaning of the word. Until and unless you dissolve your marital status, son, you don’t need to be hooking up with anyone.” Horror robbed Jim of the ability to speak. Pike’s face creased into a smile. “I’m hurt by the way.”

“Hurt, sir?” Jim managed, through lips gone numb with shock.

“Not to receive an invitation to the wedding.” Pike patted his shoulder and sauntered away. Jim, having nothing—or no one—left to do went home, hoping Bones would be asleep. But, Jim Kirk’s famous luck seemed to have recently evaporated. In their tiny dorm apartment, Bones sat on the orange sofa, the lights dim, a tumbler of bourbon clutched in his hand, staring at the blank holoscreen across from him.

‘Hi honey, I’m home.” Jim tried for humor but it fell flat. Bones glared at him. Really, it was a good thing that looks didn’t kill. Bones had been trying to vaporize him all day.

“Elizabeth dumped me when she heard.”

With great effort, Jim refrained from expressing relief. Jim tossed his jacket over a chair and joined Bones on the sofa. He grabbed the tumbler out of Bones’ hand and drained it, ignoring his protest. “Pike just told me that I can’t hook up with anyone until our divorce is final unless I want to face adultery charges. That’s six months!”

“Oh yes, that’s the biggest issue we’re facing here.”

“Monk. Picking up on the biggest comment…”

“Jim, what happened? Do you remember?” Jim turned to face Bones. In a forest green hoodie, unshaven, his bangs mussed, Bones looked very like the man who’d shared his flask with him on the shuttle out of Riverside. This close, he saw flecks of amber and green and gold in Bones’ amazing eyes and smelled lime, bay rum, and bourbon. With enormous difficulty, Jim restrained himself from leaning closer and putting his head on Bones’ shoulder.

“Flashes.” Jim answered. Jim remembered kissing Bones in a hallway. He thought he remembered Bones’ nimble surgeons fingers at the waistband of his pants as they stumbled into a darkened hotel room. He vaguely recalled the warm comforting weight of Bones settling over him before the memory faded to blackness.“What do you remember?” 

“Waking up with the biggest hangover in this star system.”

“I think the wedding was before that.”

“Do you remember the wedding? It’s all a blur to me.”

“No, I remember…”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim talks Bones into a jaunt to New Vegas

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An extra chapter today, just for iseult1124. Hope you all like it!

The Friday morning that Jim took the Maru for the third time, he skipped his own early morning class, feeling nervous and jittery. He paced the quad for a while and then headed over to the medical complex. Just as Bones’ morning class ended, he popped up next to him, needing his steady, comforting presence. Jim tossed an apple from hand to hand as they fell into step together.

“You ready for the Maru? Third time the charm?” Bones greeted him easily. 

Jim cut right over him. “Soooo, how was your date?”

“What date?”

“You didn’t come home last night. You’ve been out four times in the past two weeks. So, the hot rumor in the mess hall is that the grouchy doctor that hangs out with the future star captain…”

“Hot rumor? What the hell? Are we in middle school?” Jim watched the blush pinken Bones’ cheeks and felt acid bubble in his stomach. He must be more nervous about the Maru than he thought. “What do you want to do next? Braid each other’s hair and have a sleep over?”

“Deflecting, I see. Must have been good.” Bones ignored him and kept walking across the quad, toward the test center. “Did you kiss her? Did you f—“

“Stop right there, Jimbo. None of your business.” Bones stopped him with a warm palm on Jim’s chest, just above his heartbeat. Jim’s eyes went wide. _Bones could not be serious over this girl, could he? Not dull as dishwater Elizabeth._ “Let’s go take this test, again, kid. The things I do for you. You’re buying me lunch later.” 

“I’m going to beat it this time, Bones. I really am.”

* * *

At sunset on Friday night, after Jim defeated the Maru, he bounced back into their dorm room, chewing on his second apple of the day, just as Bones was dressing to go out.

“We’re having a party at the Purple Squirrel. You coming? You can bring that chick. And tomorrow, we are taking our shore leave and we are heading out of town. A guys weekend. I never get to see you anymore since you started dating Emma.”

“The chick’s name is Elizabeth. I’ve only been dating her two weeks but I don’t think the Purple Squirrel is really her type of place. ” 

“So you admit you’re dating.” Jim flopped onto the sofa, crossing his boots at the ankles, trying not to sulk. _Shouldn’t he be happy that he’d defeated that stupid test?_

“What the hell was that with the Maru?” Bones crossed to their small en suite bathroom to sling on some cologne. Jim caught the enticing scent of bay rum and lime before Bones started on his hair.

“Deflection again! Must be love.” Jim tried to keep the note of bitterness out of his voice. “We should go out and celebrate your 30th birthday.”

“Jim, two things. My birthday was last month. And I turned 31.”

“You _are_ old.”

“Not all of us can be baby geniuses.” 

“Come on, Bones. I want to go to New Vegas.” Jim peered over the back of the sofa at Bones, styling his hair in the bathroom. He’d never seen his normally studious friend being careful with his appearance. He privately thought that Bones looked ridiculous with his hair so neatly combed back. Bones looked better just slightly mussed. About twenty times a day, Jim had to resist straightening his dark bangs as they flopped over his forehead. “I passed the Maru.”

“You cheated on the Maru. And, I’m not supposed to tell you this, but I heard they’re going to convene a disciplinary committee for it next week.” Bones looked at Jim, worry in his eyes, biting his lush bottom lip. Why did Jim find that so distracting?

“They won’t do that. I passed. Only cadet ever. Come on, we have shore leave….” Jim pleaded.

“Let me check the calendar with Elizabeth.” Jim rolled his eyes. _They had a calendar now after only dating for two weeks?_ He had to get Bones out of this before it ended with a white picket fence, two kids, a dog, and one miserable Bones. “Bones, I need you to teach me how to play poker.”

“Don’t they teach you that in your tactical classes?” Bones asked distractedly, checking his chronometer. “Okay, I’m going out to dinner with Elizabeth tonight but I could possibly go to New Vegas tomorrow.”

“So, is an ace higher than a king? Or is a jack higher than a king?” Jim fumbled with the playing cards he’d picked up at the commissary.

“Oh my God. You actually don’t know how to play.” Bones tossed on his jacket and ran his hand through his carefully styled hair, mussing it. Jim swallowed hard and glanced down at the cards. Bones looked good. 

“You’ve gotta come with me. I’ll lose my shirt.”

“You’ll probably lose your shirt anyway. The house never loses, Jimmy. Okay. We’ll go tomorrow afternoon. God help me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’ve played with the timeline between the Maru and the attack on Vulcan in the 2009 film. The movie makes it seem like the disciplinary committee was within hours of the test. Personally, I think that unlikely. There would have to be an investigation and it would like likely take Spock several days to accumulate evidence for how Jim passed the test. 
> 
> In my story, Jim takes the Maru on Friday, the boys go to Vegas on Saturday morning and return late Sunday afternoon. The disciplinary committee for the Maru happens on Tuesday, thus kicking off the main chain of events in the 2009 movie. It doesn’t change the events of the 2009 movie—just slightly lengthens the timeline.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, what really happened in Vegas?

The next afternoon, they departed on the Academy shuttle and, twenty minutes later, stepped down into the baking sun of New Vegas. Jim enjoyed the noise of New Vegas, the clanking of tokens out of slots, the flashing lights, the thrum of anticipation and excitement. The press of people everywhere entranced him. Bones just looked slightly nauseated from the shuttle ride, adding lines to his perpetual scowl. 

“So, in five card draw…” Bones began his poker lecture as they entered the first hotel on the new strip. Jim tried not to laugh. He’s known how to play poker since he was five. 

“Deuce is a seven, right?” Jim asked with wink.

Bones glanced at him, horrified. “Okay, that’s it. Give me your wallet before you lose all your credits. Maybe you better stick with the nickel slots, kiddo.” 

“Relax, Bones, let’s find some machines.” 

They played the slots for hours, both trying to win the shiny silver sports car spinning over their head, flirting with the waitresses (well, Jim flirted and Bones basically ignored them) and enjoying the free liquor. After winning several smaller jackpots, Bones got them comped into a suite. Late in the afternoon, they headed up to their room to change for dinner.

“I like that shirt. It makes your eyes look green.” Jim said. _How much have I had to drink?_

“Thanks.” Bones pulled his eyebrows together. “It is strange to see each other in real street clothes, isn’t it?” Most of the time they wore their cadet reds or, in the apartment, pajamas bottoms and t-shirts. Standing at the window, shoulder to shoulder, they admired the view of the new strip and watched the sunset streak peach and coral ribbons across the sky above the mountains. 

After the sun set, Jim watched their reflections in the glass, his fair hair contrasting with Bones’ dark locks. They were within an inch of each other’s heights and looked like negative images of each other. Graduation was just a few short months away and then they’d be farmed out to their assignments. He really could not imagine his life without Bones standing next to him every day, eating every meal with Bones, chatting about their days, falling asleep listening to Bones snore softly. He planned to have his own ship as soon as possible and would promptly appoint Bones as his CMO but, before that, they would mostly likely not serve together. Graduation would mean a separation of at least a few years. Jim could scarcely think of it. It was his own personal Kobayashi Maru and he’d yet to figure out the solution.

After the sun dipped below the mountains, Jim slung an arm over Bones’ shoulder. “Let’s go catch a show.” They went to see a ridiculous comedy duo and laughed together. And drank. And then they drank some more as they walked down the strip, arm in arm, admiring the pretty lights, the stores, the ink parlors, the people. And, even as they ate their late night supper of steak and eggs at a random hotel on the strip, they still matched each other drink for drink.

“No, man, that’s totally not how that would have happened.” Jim thought he was slurring his words as they argued about the Maru again. By this time, he cannot feel his lips, the lights are twirling around the room, and he thought the walls might be melting. He cannot bring himself to care though because he’s having a great time with his absolute favorite person in the world.

“Oh, then tell me, genius, how did it happen?” Bones said, stabbing at his potatoes and laughing when one skittered off his plate. “Is that hash brown alive?”

“Can I get you all anything else?” Their waitress, Carrie, asked. “You all are so cute. Bickering like an old married couple.”

“We should totally get married, Bones.” Jim slapped the table, giggling.

“Okay. That’s a great idea.” Bones smiled soppily at him. Jim felt an answering grin on his own face.

“Wedding chapel is on the sixth floor.” Carrie told them before departing.

They headed for the sixth floor and argued over the song to play, who had to walk down the aisle, whether they wanted flowers, until, before they can think the better of this rash decision, they stood in front of a paunchy man, sweating under his Elvis wig. They recited the vows, giggling like kids, and then Jim pulled Bones close for a kiss. 

And that was when things really spiraled out of control. Because they could not stop kissing each other. In between passionate kisses, they plunked down credits for the entire photo package. Jim sent out their wedding announcement before grabbing Bones’ hand and dashing for a cab.

They climbed into the cab back to their hotel and Jim straddled Bones’ lap before they kissed again. They finally made it back to the room, after having to pause every three steps to kiss more, and they toppled onto the bed, illuminated only by the lights of the strip and….


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More about the morning after in Vegas

After reconstructing the timeline together as best they could, Bones and Jim sat next to each other on the couch, carefully not touching, staring straight ahead at the blank holo-screen.

“So did we…?” Bones trailed off, terrified to finish the question.

“I don’t know. I only remember the kissing part. The next thing I remember after that is waking up this morning.”

Bones chews on his bottom lip as they both think about this morning. Jim woke up first to find late morning sunlight streaming through the windows. He groaned and turned away from the agonizing light only to realize that the warmth pressed against his back was not his usual mountain of covers but instead his best friend. His very naked best friend who had his arm possessively wrapped around Jim’s waist. And that was when Jim realized he was naked too. And sticky. And sore.

_Oh dear God, what had they done?_ Jim studied Bones, peaceful now in sleep, his normal scowl relaxed, his hair tousled, unshaven and sexy as hell. Just as Jim was considering kissing him awake and wondering whether Bones would kiss him back or punch him, Bones shifted in his sleep, blinked and smiled at Jim. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Jim squeaked back. He knew the second Bones realized their state because he sat up and backed away, nearly toppling to the floor. He snatched the covers up to cover himself like some cringing Victorian heroine. Jim laughed and then moaned as pain ricocheted through his head, dropping his head into his hands.

“What? Why? How?” Bones stammered.

“I don’t know.”

“This is all your fault!” Bones yelled and then whimpered, clutching his head. 

“Please don’t yell.” Jim begged and Bones nodded before crawling to the bathroom to be sick. Jim tried to ignore the thin red scratches down Bones back. They must have really gone at each other last night. If only he could remember more than flashes. Jim checked his chronometer. They were due back in San Francisco in less than a hour. They had to hurry.

“Bones, come on. We’ve gotta get to the shuttle. Come on, Bones.” Jim snatched random clothing off the floor to dress in and started tossing things into their duffel bags. He found a nearly empty tube of strawberry flavored lube and flushed. He remembered Bones dripping it across his stomach and thighs before bending to lick it off Jim, backlit only by the lights of the Strip. He prayed Bones remembered less than he did. 

Quickly, before Bones could come out of the bathroom, he tossed the empty tube into the trash can. Inexplicably, there was a bouquet of white silk flowers tossed in the corner along with dried rice on the floor that crunched when he walked. He heard Bones get into the shower and considered it a mark of how hungover he was that he wasn’t even tempted to join him. After Bones finished in the bathroom, Jim showered and dressed. They rushed to the shuttle just in time to watch it take off.

“Great. Now we’re going to be late. If you hadn’t spent 15 minutes styling your hair…”

“Bones, I really don’t know why you keep blaming me for everything.” Jim bought them bottles of water and handed one to Bones. 

“Because it’s all your fault.” Bones snapped and refused to speak to him for the rest of the ride to San Francisco. 

“What do we do now?” Bones finally asked. Jim shrugged and strode into the bathroom to change for bed. As he pulled his pants down, he caught a flash of something in the mirror. “Why do I have a tattoo of a—something—on my ass?”

“I definitely don’t remember getting tattoos.” Bones dashed into the bathroom and bent at the waist to look closer. “It’s a heart. It says Bones Forever.” 

Jim couldn’t speak for ten full seconds. “Can you remove it?” 

“I think it’s one of those long lasting temporary ones. Let me try the dermal regenerator on it. Come to the medbay tomorrow.” Bones lightly trailed his fingers over it and, even though Bones was doing it as a doctor, cool and professional, it felt like starlight on Jim’s skin. 

Bones turned him lightly and, in the mirror, they both caught sight of the oval shaped bruises on Jim’s hip. Bones slotted his fingers over each bruise. His pads of his fingers aligned perfectly with the little constellation of bruises at Jim’s hip. Slowly, Bones raised his gaze to meet Jim. Jim wet his lips as a memory surfaced of Bones clutching at his hips as they ground together on a decadent Vegas bed. 

“Do you have a tattoo too?” Jim grabbed for Bones’ pants but he deftly avoided him and stepped back into the living room.

“I do have this.” Bones raised his shirt to show Jim a hickey, just at the edge of his abdomen, below his belly button. Jim swallowed hard as he had a sudden vivid memory of a darkened hotel suite, the lights of the strip the only illumination in the room, as he slid down his lover’s body, tasting Bones for the first time. And Bones’ hoarse, throaty cry of “Darlin’” as Jim put his mouth just at the spot where the bruise is.

Jim looked at Bones and he can see that Bones remembered it too. 

“Next time, I don’t want to be drunk. I want to remember all of it.” Jim rasped out.

“There isn’t going to be a next time, kid.” Bones climbed into bed. He turned out the light and resolutely flipped on to his side, facing the wall, away from Jim. 

And that was the moment that Jim knew that he was now playing in the highest stakes poker game of his life. He’s actually playing for Bones’ heart. And Jim Kirk never played to lose.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim visits Bones at the hospital.
> 
> * * * Jim uses some adult language in here. Hope no one is offended.* * *

The next day, Jim sought out Bones in the medbay at lunchtime. He found him chatting with Elizabeth in darkened hallway, rubbing his hand up her arm and smiling down at her. For her part, she smiled up at Bones and leaned too close, her small breasts resting on his forearm. 

“Excuse me, I just need to claim my husband for a moment.” Jim cut into their conversation with a hand at the small of Bones’ back. He both heard and felt Bones’ shocked gasp but was too focused on enjoying Elizabeth’s reaction. She glanced disgustedly at Bones and, as always, looked down her long nose at Jim as though he were something nasty she’d just stepped in. “I need some help with the Bones Forever tattoo on my ass. Nice to see you, Ellen.”

As she walked away, Bones hissed to Jim. “You cannot refer to me as your husband.” 

“We’re married so I think you’ll find that yes, in fact, I can. Do you prefer the term wife? Spouse?”

“Neither. None of the above. How is this my life? I went to Vegas to play cards and woke up hitched to you! I mean, who did I piss off?” Bones was actually grabbing handfuls of his own hair. Jim hadn’t irritated him that badly in a long while.

“Karma’s a bitch, Bones. Let’s grab lunch after you take this thing off me.”

They ducked into an empty treatment room. Jim shucked his pants and laid on his stomach on the biobed as Bones prepared the equipment. He crossed his arms under his head and closed his eyes. One of his personal favorite fantasies involved him, Bones, and an empty hospital room. Jim reminded himself that his goal was not a hospital quickie here, no matter how much that might take the edge off Bones’ mood. Time for that later.

“Just let me snap a holograph of this before I remove it. I think I may make it my Christmas card this year.” Bones snapped on the regenerator and Jim knew he’d waved it over the affected area by the way his skin tingled unpleasantly.

“There are an awful lot of people here at the Academy that would pay you good credits for a picture of my ass.” Jim groused, over the hum of the machine.

“Look at me. I’m a surgeon, a damn good one. And what am I doing? Dammit, I’m a doctor not…”

“Are you a doctor, Bones? I had no idea. You should have mentioned it.” 

“I hate you. And I know you know her name is Elizabeth.” 

“Elaine is boring.”

“She is beautiful and smart and classy and…”

“Boring! You need someone with excitement. Someone who is fun. Spontaneous. Unpredictable.”

“Like you, I suppose.” Bones said, bitterly.

“Precisely. That stings, by the way. Is it coming off?” 

“Yes, just a few more seconds. Don’t be such an infant.”

“Your warm bedside manner. Just one of the things I love about you, Bonesy.” Jim could almost hear the eye roll at that one.

“Jim, Elizabeth did some research. We can go back to New Vegas this weekend and go to one of these annulment offices. They’ll dissolve the marriage and this whole nightmare will be over.” Bones snapped off the machine and tapped Jim’s hip to indicate that he could get up.

“How thoughtful of Eleanor to research that for us.” Jim sat up slowly, not wearing any pants and not the least bit self-conscious about it.“Small point of fact that she doubtless is unaware of: an annulment only works if the marriage hasn’t been consummated.” 

“Well, seeing as how we don’t know whether or not we consummated anything…” Jim watched, amused as Bones struggled not let his gaze drop, just for a peek.

“I seem to have a very vivid memory of wrapping my lips around your cock so…” Bones flushed so badly he bypassed scarlet and hit purple. Jim leaned closer, pressing their cheeks together, and felt the heat emanating off Bones’ face as he whispered in his ear. “I also seem to recall you moaning Darlin’ rather often as I did it. That is before you lost the power of speech all together. Do you remember that, Bones?”

Jim nipped at his earlobe before leaning back to look Bones’ straight in the eyes. Bones swallowed with an audible click. “But, we don’t have to tell anyone that.”

“Just try to get an annulment and wait to see the next thing I broadcast to the whole Academy.” Jim patted his shoulder.

“What in the hell is wrong with you? I don’t want to be married to you. You don’t want to be married to me.” Bones folded his arms across his chest. 

“Now, that, Bones, is where you’re wrong.” Jim hopped down from the bed and bent over to put on his pants. “Let’s grab lunch.” But Bones had already left the room, the door swinging on its hinges.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Payback is hell, Jim.

Later that evening, after his shift at the hospital ended, Bones returned to the apartment to find Jim curled on the sofa, dressed in his tattered UMiss shirt and worn plaid pajama pants, studying.

“Why are you wearing my clothes?”

“Spousal privilege.” Jim answered, not looking up from his PADD. “Also, because I was in Vegas getting married this weekend, I didn’t have time to do laundry.”

Bones stared at him for a moment, trying to figure out why it’s so incredibly arousing to see Jim dressed in his clothes. He wore an ancient gray university t-shirt, washed so many times that it is soft as silk. The shirt was slightly too small on Jim’s fit torso and rode up to expose about an inch of skin on his flat, tanned belly. When Jim shifted, he caught sight of Jim’s belly button and a dusting of fine blonde hair on his stomach. Wicked thoughts of exactly what he could do to Jim wearing that shirt made Bones swallow hard. He looked away, still puzzling over why he wanted to rip the shirt off Jim and take him to…

“What happened to my bed?” Bones crossed the room to stare at the bunk area. Instead of the two doubles that formerly sat there, now a wide queen bed, covered in a duvet the exact color of Jim’s amazing eyes, was shoved up against one wall. 

“Since we’re married, we get a full size bed instead of those narrow single bunks we had.” Jim flopped down on the bed, patting the mattress. “Join me, Bones!”

“I am not sleeping in that bed with you.”

“Enjoy the couch then. I’ll enjoy this.” Jim spread out like a starfish on the bed. “Ahhh! Comfort.”

Bones grabbed Jim’s ankles and yanked him off the bed, trying not to imagine that he’s pulling him closer for a totally different reason.“You sleep on the couch.”

“Why should I sleep on the couch? I got us the bed!” Jim protested, climbing up off the floor. 

“Exactly. It’s all your fault. All of this…this insane situation is your fault.”

“How can you blame me for this?”

“It was your bright idea to go off to Vegas on shore leave. You dragged me there and we ended up married.” 

“I’ll take responsibility for planning the trip because God knows you need a little fun in your life, Bones. You’re dating the most boring woman on campus.”

“I was dating the most boring woman on campus. Now, thanks to your little stunt this morning, she won’t even talk to me.”

“You’re welcome. I did you a favor. Even you admit Eileen is boring. Like I said, you needed a little excitement.”

“I live with you. I could stand a little less excitement.”

“Does that mean you find me exciting, Bones?” At that, Jim leveled the smolder, the one that Bones had seen work on a veritable parade of bed partners over the last three years. Bones glared at him before heading into the bathroom to change. 

“Quit making that ridiculous face. You look like a duck. Does that work on anyone?”

“Women, men, different species…”

“Good Lord, is there anything you won’t do?”

“Do you really want the answer to that question, Bones?” Jim leaned on the bathroom door jam, watching Bones brush his teeth. “I’m a trisexual.”

“What the hell’s that mean?” 

“I’ll try anything once.”

Bones pinched the bridge of his nose and looked like he was praying for patience. Jim got that look a lot. “Look, I’ve done some crazy things myself, not least of which was marrying my idiot roommate in a drunken stupor in New Vegas.”

“You? What crazy thing did you do? Not return a library book on time?” Jim hooted with laughter.

“I went to college, kid. I’ve been a trisexual myself, in the past.”

“Yeah, ancient past.”

“Well, what the hell do you know about it? All you’ve ever had is a series of one-night stands!” Bones pushed past him into the living area and stomped toward the bed. He ripped off his cadet reds and yanked on pajama pants, leaving his tanned torso bare. Jim really tried hard not to be distracted by the rippling six-pack on display or the trail of dark hair that ended at the waistband of Bones’ pants. The doctor sure hid quite a body under those cadet reds. 

“Some of them were two nights.”

“You are an immature, ridiculous man-child. The point is, Jim, we’re not sexually compatible.”

“I seem to recall our time in New Vegas just slightly differently.” Jim stepped into Bones’ personal space, crowding him against the bedroom wall, pressing close enough to feel the heat between them, bringing a wash of memories to the forefront. This close, Bones smelled of minty toothpaste, limes, and antiseptic. There was no reason that the scent of him should make Jim’s head swim the way it did. Deliberately, Jim’s gaze flicked from Bones’ eyes to his lips and then back up again, challenging. Bones swallowed and Jim inclined his head to taste him. He only got in one quick, brief kiss before Bones put his hands on Jim’s shoulders. Without warning, he then flipped him so Jim’s back pressed against the bedroom wall. 

“First of all, kid, I can damn well do casual.” He crowded Jim against the wall, pinning him there with just his hips, his hands flat against the wall on either side of Jim's head. “Hot and fast and furious.”

“I bet that's how you like it best.” Bones whispered in a low growl next to Jim's ear. “But have you ever had it slow and deep, like it'll just last hours. Meltin’ together with your lover.” How on earth was that rough Southern accent so incredibly sexy? Bones’ punctuated his words by shifting aside his t-shirt and pressing his mouth to the spot where Jim's shoulder met his neck. He sucked hard enough to leave a mark, rolling his hips against Jim just slightly, who moaned at the increased contact, reaching to pull Bones closer. He licked his way up Jim's neck and nipped at his earlobe. “The thing is, Jimmy,” Bones rasped, “I would want to take my time with you, darlin.” 

At that, Jim's knees gave way and he had to grab Bones forearms to keep himself upright. Bones leaned back, smiling when he felt Jim's obvious desire against him. He sauntered away leaving Jim weak-kneed, reeling, and gasping for breath. Bones settled himself into the bed and flipped off the light.

It took 10 minutes before Jim realized Bones was screwing with him as payback for the hospital today.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) Smolder credit to Flynn Ryder in Tangled. But come on, you know Jim’s got a smolder.
> 
> 2) I think the idea of Jim dressed in Bones’ clothes came from a prompt on the Jim_and_Bones livejournal. Either that, or it’s a fandom trope. Anyway, I thought it was fun here. 
> 
> 3) Trisexual is from Sex and the City. Samantha says it. 
> 
> 4) Posting tomorrow's chapter today because I won't have much free time tomorrow. Hope you all enjoy!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What does Bones have to say for himself?

The next morning, Bones woke up to an armful of Jim. He’d crept into the bed over night and, somehow, they’d ended up in a cozy cocoon of blankets, Jim’s head resting on the pillow next to him, their bodies snuggled together. For long moments, Bones just watched Jim sleep in the pearly light of dawn, the early morning light gilding Jim’s perfect face and golden hair. 

The bed was warm and cozy and comfy. Bones would get up in just a minute. He wanted to soak in this for a moment and pretend that is his real life. Bones knew that he should untangle himself from Jim and get out of bed before they made their situation any worse. But, from the day on the shuttle out of Riverside, Bones and Jim were deeply entwined. What difference would a few more moments make?

It would be so easy for Bones to lean forward and press his mouth against that perfect lush cupid’s bow. He and Jim were molten hot together, practically incandescent, if his sketchy memories of Vegas were anything to go by. There was a part of Bones that wanted to throw caution to the wind and just enjoy being with Jim for as long as possible. But he didn’t believe he would survive it when Jim was done with him, leaving him a lonely husk of a man again. How on earth had they ended up in this mess?

As he told the kid, he could do and had done casual. Casual was just fine between strangers or even two acquaintances that both knew the score. But Leonard McCoy could absolutely not do casual with James Kirk. Not when he’d been in love with the kid for ages. Bones didn’t believe in love at first sight. Since all he could actually remember from that shuttle ride was Jim’s brilliant blue eyes and sharing his grandpa’s flask, he didn’t really credit loving Jim from first sight. Attracted to him then, definitely. Even blind drunk Bones could see the kid was a looker. 

And then they’d been assigned together as roommates. He supposed it made sense from the Academy’s perspective to put the two older outcasts together. Perhaps it was inevitable that they’d become best friends. It wasn’t until the about six months into the Academy that Bones realized that he, along with most of the Academy, had a crush on Jim. But, if Bones truly credited when he’d fallen absolutely head over heels in love with Jim, he knew it was when the kid got him over his fear of flying. Leonard would never love space the way Jim did but with Jim’s careful coaxing and patience he could learn to tolerate it. 

Bones remembered very clearly the night he’d realized the extent of his feelings. They’d been in a small anti-gravity chamber that Jim had somehow charmed someone into giving them access to. Bones clung to the side of the chamber, splayed out like a starfish, while Jim did lazy spirals around the room.

“This is a bad idea.” He managed to choke out before clamping his teeth together to avoid throwing up.

“Bones. This is fun. Did I tell you what I did with that chick from xenobiology in here?”

“Only you. This is not fun. Not at all.”

Jim drifted past and bounced off the wall near Bones, spinning to face him as he did so. “Okay then. What’s fun?”

“Reading a good book, sipping bourbon near a roaring fire, eating fresh peaches…”

“That’s like nursing home fun.”

“You are such an infant.”

“I am six years younger than you. Hardly an infant. Come on, Bones. It’s fun!” Jim pried Bones’ hands off the panel gently and tugged. “How would you even know if it’s fun if you’re going to cling to the wall all night?”

Though it took several minutes of coaxing, Jim managed to get Bones to float his upper body for a bit before he plastered himself to the wall again. Finally, by holding both Bones’ hands in his, Jim pulled him out into the center of the small anti-gravity chamber. He pulled Bones into his arms like they were dancing. “I got ya, Bones.”

And as they twirled, Bones stared into Jim’s eyes and knew. Knew that he was forever a goner. Knew that this time was the very real deal. Knew that he was going to end up living out his life in space aboard a starship because that’s where Jim would be.

And he also knew that he would never, ever be able to have Jim for his own. That Jim could never, ever know or even suspect how he felt. Because while James Tiberius Kirk may have been destined for greatness, he didn’t do monogamy or relationships and certainly not love.

But even that knowledge didn’t stop Bones from wanting Jim, desperately, and hiding it very well for nearly two years. Hell, he’d even managed to go and get himself a girlfriend to distract him. Not that it had worked but still…at least Bones had tried to put his feelings aside, bury his inconvenient emotions under a veneer of friendship.

Until he let the kid talk him into going to Vegas.

Bones remembered far more about New Vegas than the kid suspected. Not the decision to get married or the ceremony. He’d clearly been drunk out of his mind to agree to that. But after that, he may have been just the smallest bit more sober than Jim. Not completely sober but not so drunk that he didn’t remember it.

He’d begun to sober up on the ride back to the hotel, Jim wrapped around him like a blanket in back of the car. Jim kissed him and, well, not for nothing did Jim Kirk have the reputation he did. The man could kiss. Bones knew he should put a stop to this, that Jim would regret this—assuming he ever remembered it in the first place—but when you’d been denying yourself something for so long, it is a bit hard to give it up when it’s plastered on your lap and giving you a hickey.

In the cab, Jim’s mouth found his again, biting at his lower lip, followed with a soothing brush of tongue. Jim rocked his hips against his and Bones let out a moan that would have embarrassed him any other time. And now Jim was acting like Bones’ wildest fantasies and well, who could blame him if he took the opportunity when it was offered. Lord knew, he was a doctor, not a saint. 

He’d stop in a minute, he told himself as they stumbled up the hallway to their room, pausing every few feet to kiss each other breathless.

In a minute, as they tumbled onto the bed, losing most of their clothes somehow. Feeling the press of skin on skin and hot breath and…

Jim sliding down his body, using his wicked mouth expertly to taste and explore Bones…

They’d stop in a minute.

Truth be told, Bones did not remember every second of that evening. His memories went in and out of focus, like a holo-lens gone wrong. But he knew that he hadn’t been the one to put a stop to it. In fact, he was pretty sure neither of them had put a stop to it. But he had to be the one to do so now. No matter how much it hurt.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bones continues to resist Jim and we find out a bit more about Bones' backstory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit sad. It mentions the death of a minor (fandom) character and violence against a woman briefly and in passing. Just mentioning it in case it could be a trigger for some.

Bones attempted to crawl out of bed, over Jim, and found himself flat on his back, with Jim looming above him, a wide smile on his handsome face.

“Morning, Bones!” Jim said before trailing hot, wet kisses that felt like starfire down the side of his neck. Bones attempted to push him away but Jim just grabbed both of Bones’ hands. He twined their fingers and pressed their joined hands together above their heads. They slotted together so perfectly, like puzzle pieces finally aligned. Bones rocked his hips up, seeking friction, instinct making him needy, his brain fighting his body.

“Jimmy…” Bones said, trying to get his attention, but instead it came out as a groan as Jim bit his shoulder and pressed closer to him, his evident desire bumping against Bones’ hip. Bones could feel his resolve weakening. Before he did something that they would both regret, he wrapped his legs around Jim, gasping as they aligned perfectly, and flipped them over. Jim smiled brilliantly and then frowned as Bones pushed away, aching with want. 

“Why are you denying us this? We were really hot in Vegas together.” Jim finally asked. 

“Jim, I realize you have the emotional maturity of a toddler chimp, but even you should know that sex and friendship do not mix.” Bones sat on the side of the bed, his face in his hands. What are they going to do? 

Bones wanted desperately to say no to him, to utilize some sense of self-preservation. But he never learned how. A few more mornings like this and there will be no resisting Jim. And then he’ll be shattered when Jim, inevitably, tires of him. He’ll be left just as friendless and alone as he was that day on the shuttle out of Riverside, with no Jim Kirk to put him back together again.

“Why not?”

“Because, whether you want to admit it or not, sex changes things. It just does. We are friends. That’s all.”

“We already had sex. In Vegas. Very good sex. And we’re still friends.” Jim shrugged. “Why can’t we do it again? You can’t tell me you don’t want it too.”

“Actually, we’re married.” Bones corrected. “And not having sex.” 

“That is basically the definition of marriage.” Jim muttered. 

“I’m not sleeping with you just to avoid an adultery charge.”

“Not just.” Jim ran his hands over Bones’ back and then hugged him from behind, pressing kisses along the back of his neck. Bones fought to ignore the little frissons of awareness that shimmered down his spine. It would be so easy to turn into Jim’s embrace and fulfill every filthy fantasy that Bones had ever had of the two of them together. 

“Never thought you were the marrying kind, Jim.”

“Neither are you and yet…”

“I never planned on getting married again. Once was enough with Pamela.”

“I didn’t even know her name until just now. What happened?” Jim released him and leaned against the headboard. Bones noticed that Jim hadn’t bothered with pajamas last night and tore his gaze away before his willpower crumpled completely. He tossed the blankets over him before answering. 

“We met at UMiss. Pamela Branch was the prettiest girl on campus. She loved being married to a doctor. I finished my residency and went into private practice, bought a big house in Buckhead… the works. She loved it but I didn’t. I wanted to give something back so I started working at a free clinic downtown on the weekends.” Bones trailed off, swallowing several times before speaking again.

“We wanted kids. About a year after I got out of school, we got pregnant. Pamela was so excited, decorating the nursery and nesting and all that. Then, one day, when she was about 8 months along, she came to bring me lunch at the clinic. And…” 

Jim put his hand over his and Bones twined their fingers together but kept his eyes on the floor. “She was attacked. I tried to save her and the baby but…” Bones shook his head, blinking away tears. “Pamela lived. The baby was stillborn. We named her Joanna.”

“I am so sorry, Bones. So sorry.” Jim pulled him tight against him and, despite himself, knowing it was a terrible idea, Bones rested his head on Jim’s shoulder, seeking comfort in his embrace. Jim rubbed his shoulders lightly but didn’t press for more. They sat like that as the sun brightened and crawled across the room. Finally, Jim asked. “What happened then?”

“Joanna’s death broke us. Pamela wanted nothing to do with me after that. I fell into the bottle and ended up on that shuttle out of Riverside.”

“Bones, that doesn’t sound like marriage was your problem. It seems like you just got hit with bad luck.” Jim rubbed his back and shoulders gently and brushed a kiss over his temple. 

“Maybe so, kiddo. But I don’t want to curse anyone else with my bad luck.” Bones crawled out of bed and went to face the day, unsuspecting that the world would go completely to hell within hours, when a crazed Romulan would nearly destroy all their lives.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of their confrontation with Nero, both our heroes change their minds...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am sorry that everyone was sad about Bones' backstory in the last chapter. I promise not one but two ultra fluffy epilogues to make up for it. 
> 
> Also, thank you so much to everyone who has commented and/or left kudos. You really make my day. I love your feedback:-)

As the Enterprise limped back to Earth after their confrontation with Nero, Bones spent the first 72 hours in sickbay, first operating on and then hovering over Christopher Pike. Though they have nothing like Jim and Christopher’s father and son bond, Pike recruited him and Bones remains profoundly grateful to the man. Without Christopher Pike, Bones would probably have drunk himself to death long before now.

The surgery was tricky and Pike’s recovery shaky. After Bones’ enforced rest period, he woke up and realized that it’s been over three days since he saw his husband. Bones noted to himself that he’d mentally started referring to Jim as his husband and wasn’t sure what to do about it. Before their adventures of the past few days, Bones wasn’t sure he could risk shattering his heart in a romantic entanglement with Jim. Things looked different from the other side of disaster.

He found Jim in Engineering, crawling up a warp tube, his new friend Scotty yelling instructions from below. Jim crawled backwards out of the tube and Bones got his first good look at him. Sweaty and dirty, with indigo circles like bruises below his eyes, Jim looked pale, tired, and worn. After all they’ve been through, Bones overriding emotion was relief at seeing him mostly whole and well. He clenched his hands into fists at his sides to prevent pulling Jim into his embrace. 

“Jim…” Jim turned to see him and, for the first time Bones can recall, he doesn’t smile when he sees Bones.

“Doctor McCoy.” Jim greeted him formally, coolly. “What can I do for you?”

“I wanted to inform you of Pike’s status, Captain.” Bones answered, wondering if Jim’s formal attitude is a smokescreen for the crew. Since most of them are fellow cadets who received Jim’s wedding announcement nearly a week ago, Bones doesn’t see the need for a smokescreen. But, if he’s learned anything over the past few days, he knows Jim always has a plan, however opaque it may seem to others.

“No need, Doctor McCoy. Your nurses have been keeping me well-informed.” Jim turned to climb back into the warp tube. Bones stopped him with a hand on his arm as Scotty strolled away, leaving them alone.

“When was the last time you slept or ate, darlin’?”

Jim shook his hand off. “I’m fine.”

“Are you angry at me?” Jim ground his jaw together and crossed his arms over his chest. Bones and Jim bickered constantly but they’d never actually been angry at each other very long. Well, Bones had been angry plenty of times but he could never remember Jim being angry at him. “Why?”

“Guess I’ve had a lot of time to think, crawling around down here. Thanks so much for supporting me.”

“You’re welcome.” Bones answered, still bewildered by Jim’s coldness.

“I was being sarcastic. I can’t believe you didn’t help me.” A look of genuine hurt flashed across Jim’s features. He pushed out his full lower lip. Bones knew then that he was coping with Jim in a true temper. 

“Help you how? Are you talking about when Spock marooned you? I tried to stop him. And, you did commit mutiny, if you recall, Captain Kirk.”

“Yes, that and how you supported him wanting to rejoin the fleet. And then…”

“When I was surprised that you were so cruel as to emotionally compromise a man that had just lost not only his mother but his planet, just so you could take command?”

“I had to.” Jim glanced away. “Maybe I’ll tell you the whole story someday.”

“You know, if you want a yes man for your CMO, it ain’t me, kid.” Bones crowded Jim against the bulkhead and Jim glared up at him, breathing hard. Suddenly, Bones could see the scared, overwhelmed Iowan farm boy in his brash, reckless captain. As acting CMO, Bones had learned something about the heavy burden of command these past few days.

Bones cradled his cheek and whispered, “Jim, you’re pushing yourself too hard. Take a rest.”

“I can’t take a rest, Bones. I’m responsible for this ship and everyone on it.” 

“And who’s going to take care of them when you’ve dropped from exhaustion? Come on, Jimmy. Don’t make me order you.” At that, Jim’s shoulders slumped and he nodded. Bones took his hand and led him to his own quarters, since Jim had given the delegation from Vulcan his own suite. He shoved him into the sonic shower and ordered up a light lunch. 

“On our first jaunt out of the Academy, you end up the Captain and I end up the CMO. I mean, how does that even happen?” Bones tried to lighten the mood.

“Just because I’m giving in to you doesn’t mean you’re forgiven.” Jim warned, with a black look as he took an enormous bite of chicken sandwich. He sat on the end of the bed, shoulders slumped from exhaustion. Bones approached him with the medikit and ignored Jim’s glare.

“I had Chapel look at me while you were in surgery. It’s nothing serious.”

“I’ll be the judge of that, unless you got your medical degree along with the engineering degree you seemed to have picked up recently.”

“I’m the Captain. I have to help out, try to get us back to Earth. I don’t know what else to do.” Jim ran his fingers through his hair until it stood up in tufts. Bones suddenly remembered that Jim was only 25. Just a baby.

“I’m not criticizing you, darlin.’ How’s your neck?” In lieu of the medikit, Bones ran his fingers over Jim’s throat, needing to feel the steady pulse there for himself.

“You let Spock almost strangle me. He dropped me with that pinch thing too and you did nothing.” Jim sounded petulant, like a three year old needing his nap.

“You know how many times I’ve nearly strangled you? What was I supposed to do? Stuff myself into the escape pod with you so we could both get marooned?”

At Jim’s mutinous glare, Bones’ snapped. “I am the most senior doctor on this ship. Me! I was a cadet less than a week ago.” Their eyes locked as they both remembered that, just a week ago, they got married in a drunken haze in New Vegas. Bones felt like he’d lived two lifetimes in the aftermath. Who were those irresponsible kids in New Vegas? They seemed very far away from the Captain and CMO of the Enterprise. 

“I couldn’t leave the ship, Jim. I couldn’t leave my patients in sickbay without a doctor, not even for you. And honestly, I thought you’d be safer tucked away on Delta Vega. Shoulda known better than that.”

“Safer?” Jim stood and stepped toward Bones, who did not back down so much as an inch. They ended up chest to chest, both breathing hard. “That’s mighty condescending of you, Mr. CMO.” 

“I’m not saying it as your CMO. I’m saying it as your husband. I wanted you safe.”

“Oh, now you want to be my husband. Last I heard, you wanted a divorce.” 

“I am your husband. And I thought your friend. You couldn’t even be bothered to clue me in on your little mutiny plan. Then, you show back up—God only knows how— and get into a brawl with the captain. I’m supposed to psychically know what you were doing and offer my support when my husband is actin’ like a crazy man!”

“Oh, like you bothered to fill me in about your little vaccine plan? That was fun. I hope I can do that again soon.” 

“It’s because of me that you ended up on this ship at all. Smuggling you on this ship could have cost me everything I worked for these past three years.” Bones fought to keep his gaze locked on Jim’s eyes and not be tempted by that luscious mouth and how badly he wanted to kiss him, feel him beneath his hands, whole and safe. The doctor side of him overrode the lust, but only just barely. 

“Well, it’s because of me that you and the rest of the Enterprise weren’t blown out of the sky.” Jim said bitterly, his arms crossed over his chest, hunched over protectively, like he was warding off a blow. 

“Fine. We’ll call it even then. I’m not going to argue with you when you’re acting like a cranky toddler. I’m going back to sickbay. You are going to sleep.” 

“Don’t you dare sedate me.” Jim snapped when Bones reached for his medikit.

“You’ll sleep?” Jim nodded and laid down on the bed. Despite his annoyance with him, Bones still stopped to toss a blanket over Jim before storming out.


	11. Chapter 11

After their argument, Bones and Jim avoided each other until just before the Enterprise arrived back at earth. When Sulu told Jim that they were two hours out, Jim handed the conn over to Spock and strode down to sickbay. He’d been to sickbay multiple times to visit with the convalescing Pike, but Bones had made himself conspicuously absent on those occasions. It was time for a sneak attack.

He found Bones the instant he walked into the temporary sickbay, like Bones was true north on his own personal compass. He looked tired, with several days stubble shadowing his face and his hair sticking up in clumps in all directions. They’d been sharing quarters but alternating when they took their catnaps so they hadn’t actually seen each other for several shifts. Bones scowled at a tricorder next to him and then shook it slightly. “No good, think this one was damaged.” 

“Doctor McCoy, could you take a walk with me?” Jim asked. 

Bones glanced at him, scowled harder, and said “Is that an order, Captain?”

“I meant it as an invitation but I can make an order, if you like.” Jim said, never losing his sunny tone.

Bones tossed the tricorder onto an empty biobed and gestured for Jim to lead the way. They walked silently to the aft observation deck, deserted now at midday. Still, Jim took the precaution of locking the door. They were going to hash this out now. Time to throw down his cards.

“Whadda you want, Jim?” Bones said, crossing his arms with his back resolutely to the window. 

“First, I spoke to Spock. He filled me in on your actions, the way you stood up for me. The other day, I was cranky and strung out. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

“Is that an apology?” Jim nodded and Bones blew out a breath, raking his hands through his hair. “Okay then. I’m sorry we fussed too.”

They stood in silence for a few very awkward moments. Jim hated this. It should never be awkward with Bones. “Is that all, sir?” Bones said, somehow managing to make it sound terribly insubordinate. Jim knew he had to fall back to plan B. Time to grovel.

“I don’t have friends, Bones.” 

“You’re everyone’s friend. We cannot walk across campus without thirty people hailing you. It takes an extra half hour to get to the mess hall when I walk with you.”

“No. Everyone knows who I am.”

“Well, you’ll be plenty famous now, I’m sure.” Bones shrugged.

“Still, I don’t have friends. I’ve just got one. And I don’t want to lose him.” Jim looked at Bones full in the face then and hoped that Bones could read his feelings in his eyes.

“We’re still friends, kid.” Bones moved closer and patted him on the shoulder. Jim immediately pressed his advantage by pulling Bones in for a kiss, deep and full. Bones parted his lips and Jim cradled Bones’ face, plundering his mouth. Bones’ willpower, never very strong when it came to Jim, crumbled under their mutual need. He wrapped his arms around Jim, his miraculous Jim, safe and whole and sound, and just kissed him back.

He’d always known that Jim would be a fantastic lay. But, what he never expected was how the kid could overwhelm him, short circuit his brain, shut down his always whirring thoughts, and make him just be. After the stress, strain, and worry of the past week, Bones wanted nothing more than to sink to the floor with Jim and indulge in the best way he knew how to forget. Before he lost all sense, Bones wrenched away from Jim to lean against the window, watching the stars creep past.

“I’m not sleepin’ with you while we get this resolved just because you’re horny.” Bones gasped out.

“No matter how much we both want it?” Bones shook his head, still fighting to get his breathing under control again, unable to turn and look at Jim. “If we can go back to being friends again, fine. I’ll give you a divorce, if that’s what you really want.”

“Jim, I cannot stay married to you.” Bones turned to face him. 

“Why?”

“You’re just asking that because you think you can argue me out of it, don’t you?” ” Jim nodded, his eyes never leaving Bones’ face. “Well, you won’t want to after you hear this.” Bones drew a shuddery, shaky breath and locked eyes with Jim. “Because I love you. Like really love you, absolutely madly, completely.”

“I’m the one in love with you.” Jim pressed close to Bones, into his personal space, running his lips over Bones’ clenched jaw, sliding his hands around his waist, under his shirt. “I’ve been in love with you for ages, I think. Maybe even since that rant on the shuttle out of Riverside. It just took you dating that boring Elizabeth for me to face it.”

“The problem is, Jimmy, I just couldn’t bear sharing you.” Bones stared out at the stars, unable to look Jim in the eye, but not able to break away from the contact. 

“Do you have any idea why I was drinking myself under the table and spoiling for a fight that night in Riverside? I’d just found out my girlfriend of three years was pregnant.”

“You have a child?” 

“It wasn’t my baby.”

“Oh kid.” Instinctively, Bones wrapped his arms around Jim, who rested his head on Bones’ shoulder and snuggled close.

“So, yeah, I’ve had my share of fun. But that doesn’t mean I’m just a good time guy.”

“So, what are you saying? That you, mighty sex god that you are, want to be in a monogamous relationship? With me?” Bones can’t quite keep the incredulity out of his voice.

“I’m saying that I’m capable of it.” Jim answered. “With the right person.”

“But, we’re friends and…”

“You want me to give you some sort of lifetime guarantee. No one can give you that, Bones. If the past few days haven’t taught you that…”

“Do we have to decide this now?” Bones said, resting his cheek on top of Jim’s golden hair.

“No, but we have to prepare for questions at the inevitable press conferences that are going to start after we dock.”

“Okay, let me think about it.”

“Think fast, my love.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The friends conversation is adapted from the BBC Sherlock episode “Hound of the Baskervilles”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our handsome heroes cope with the press...

Once the Enterprise docked, the ship became a blur of activity. Bones spent most of the time working with the medical team to transfer Christopher Pike. When he went to board the shuttle with him and the medical team, one of the Starfleet executives stopped him with a hand to the chest.

“Sorry, Doctor McCoy, we can’t let you leave yet. We need you here for the press conference.”

“I am attending to Captain Pike’s medical care as his primary physician. I suggest you want to step back and let me get on that shuttle.” 

“The medical team has Captain Pike’s care well in hand. I’m sorry, sir. I’m following orders from Admiral Marcus. If you could follow me…”

Bones clenched his teeth as the shuttle doors swished closed, leaving him on the outside. Having no choice, Bones followed along. After being shown to one of the spacedocks visitor’s suites, he showered, shaved, and donned his monkey suit of a dress uniform. As he left his room, Jim exited the room across the hall. They hadn’t seen each other since their encounter on the observation deck. 

“You look very nice, Doctor McCoy.” Jim ducked his chin and smiled at him. How could this gorgeous man possibly be his husband? 

“You too, Captain.” Bones smiled at him and Jim stepped toward him, hands raised to touch him.

“Gentlemen, if you’d come this way…” Admiral Marcus spoke from the end of the hall and Jim and Bones, their moment broken, followed him to the shuttle. 

In the shuttle bay, they got a briefing from some PR firm that Starfleet had hired. As Jim predicted, Starfleet coordinated quite the welcome for them. All the bridge crew were cleaned up and dressed in their grey uniforms, shadows dark under their eyes, looking pale and wan and spent. Were it up to Bones, he’d give every last one of them a month of shore leave. But, he knew they were going to have to suffer through a dog-and-pony media show followed by rigorous debriefings and then the funerals would begin. No rest for the wicked.

“We’re not starting with debriefings?”

“Don’t worry, Mr. Spock, there will be plenty of time for debriefings later.” Admiral Marcus clapped a hand on his shoulder. “But, we couldn’t keep the media away from our handsome heroes, could we?”

“We’ve prepared statements for each of you. Just read them. Answer a few softball questions. Pose for some photos. Captain, if I could see you over here?”

Jim left Bones’ side and one of the young PR pups came up to Doctor McCoy. “Here’s your statement. We’d like to know what you plan to say about your recent marriage.”

“What’s that got to do with anything?” Bones snapped. Without a word, the PR pup handed him a PADD. Bones glanced down to see the Galaxy Star headline “Space Husbands!” with one of their wedding pictures cropped into a heart shape. He felt his jaw sag. 

“Most of the tabloids are very complimentary. It’s a great story. Two oddball cadets find love and save the world. I mean, the copy writes itself.”

“Oddball?” Bones snapped but flipped through the articles. It was no surprise to Bones that holos of Jim’s handsome face filled up every page. He was surprised to see his own childhood photos staring back at him. He’d kill his grandma for that. 

They filed onto the shuttle, Jim maneuvering to be next to Bones. As they took off, Jim twined their fingers and pressed their palms together, knowing how much Bones still loathed shuttle travel. Bones glanced at him and took in his crooked smile. “You were adorable on that tricycle, Bones.” 

All too soon, they docked and filed into a crowded auditorium. After enduring far too long of holo-flashes and reporters shouting questions, they took their seats on a raised dais. Admiral Marcus gave a brief statement and introduced each of them. Bones managed to choke out his prepared statement, reassuring everyone that Pike was on the road to recovery. Spock went next and Bones watched Jim, confident, capable. 

How on earth had he, Bones, ever attracted the attention of someone so amazing? Jim claimed to love him. He’d never known Jim to lie, not about something like that. He knew that he’d be asked by a nosy reporter at any moment about their accidental marriage and still didn’t know what his answer was. He knew what he wanted but wasn’t sure he possessed the courage to take the risk. All too soon, Marcus opened the floor to questions.

“This one is for Acting Captain Kirk. You’ve just saved the universe. You did what no one thought was possible. What are you going to do now?”

Bones knew the answer to this one. Marcus had told Jim to say something about heading to Disney Planet, in an endorsement deal with Starfleet. Instead, Bones leaned toward the microphone and turned to smile at Jim, his captain, his friend, his love. Bones said, straight into the microphone “He’s going on our honeymoon.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A fluffy (and smutty) epilogue where our heroes enjoy their honeymoon...  
> *** Note the rating change ***

Somehow, with all the debriefings, the press coverage and the endless string of funerals for their classmates and shipmates, Jim and Bones didn’t have a moment to themselves until the shuttle touched down in Maui two weeks later. Each night at their dorm room, they collapsed onto the bed in exhaustion and woke up cuddled together, seeking warmth and comfort from each other in sleep. Other than a few all too brief kisses, they hadn’t touched each other, some unspoken agreement between them that they were waiting for their honeymoon.

In exchange for their cooperation with the press, numerous debriefings, and repeat photo-ops at multiple funerals, Starfleet rented them a private villa, with their own private beach and pool. Bones would be willing to bet that Pike had something to do with it. He seemed to feel he was their own personal matchmaker, since he’d recruited both of them and gotten them onto the shuttle, that long ago day at Riverside. Pike had somehow gotten their disciplinary hearing for New Vegas postponed indefinitely too. There were definite benefits to being the saviors of the planet.

After the shuttle dropped them off, they rented a car and Jim drove them to their private villa, neither speaking much in the car. They spent a few moments exploring the gorgeous house and lavish grounds, dropping off their luggage in the master bedroom. The room boasted lovely views of the sea and beach as well as a decadent carved four poster bed, shrouded with netting. Some thoughtful hotel employee had scattered blush pink rose petals over the bed and lit dozens of candles, giving the room a cozy glow.

“So…do you want to go for a swim or…?” Bones trailed off, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly and studiously not looking at his husband.

“I want to go for moonlight walks on the beach. I want to swim naked in our private swimming pool. And I want to splash in the surf with you. I want to read in the hammock with you napping on my chest. I want to have a picnic with you under the stars.”

“Who would have thought that out of the two of us, you’d be the romantic?” Bones barked out a laugh.

“Anyone who has ever met us. But I know you’re just a big old marshmallow under that curmudgeonly exterior. But first,” Jim crossed the room to Bones and stood just inches away from him, looking up at him, in his ridiculous lurid palm tree shirt, floppy straw hat, and flip flops. How was it possible Jim was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen? “I want to make love to my husband.”

Bones swallowed hard. Butterflies were doing formation diving in his stomach. His knees felt watery and weak and his fingers were numb. He’d been married before, even been on a honeymoon once before, and was far from a virgin. How on earth could he be so nervous?

“I think we have to be drunk for this to work.” He muttered, clenching his now shaking hands into fists at his side.

“I told you once, I don’t want to be drunk the next time. I want to remember every single second of it.” At that, Jim clasped his hands on Bones’ cheeks and pulled him close for a kiss. 

For Jim, life in general—and sex was no different— was all about speed. Fast and passionate, edging to the side of rough. Bones expected Jim to be his usual quicksilver self. Instead, he gently, tenderly, patiently took Bones apart. He unbuttoned his shirt, following the trail of his fingers with tiny butterfly kisses down Bones’ chest. He pushed the shirt off his shoulders, trailing his talented fingers down Bones’ arms. Bones reached for him to reciprocate and Jim brushed him aside. He yanked his own shirt over his head and then pressed them together, skin to skin before achingly slowly pressing his mouth to Bones, sucking his lower lip.

Never breaking their kiss, they crossed the room and toppled together onto the bed, the sunset tinging their skin amber and gold. They rolled together, both trying for dominance, desperate for each other after so long. Finally, they ended on their sides, facing each other, slotting together perfectly. Jim shimmied out of his pants and reached for the waistband of Bones’ linen trousers.

“Wait, Jimmy.”

“Bones, I cannot wait. It’s been weeks.” Jim panted against his shoulder, fighting the buttons at the placket, giving up and squeezing the length of Bones through the linen. Bones bucked his hips and then grabbed Jim’s wrist, stopping him.

“I want to give you something first. And don’t make a joke.” Jim closed his eyes and flopped on to his back with a sigh. Bones got up and found his suitcase, rummaging through for a second before returning to the bed, tossing a tube of lubricant on the bedside table first. 

“Take off your pants.” Jim begged. Bones obliged before crawling back into the bed. Bones slipped a slim platinum band on Jim’s left ring finger. Before Jim could find words, Bones placed a matching one on his own hand. He twined their fingers together, the rings clinking together softly, and looked into Jim’s amazing eyes, smiling at the shocked expression on Jim’s face.

“Wedding rings? I didn’t think you’d wear one, being a surgeon and all.”

“What can I say? I’m a traditionalist. We did all this backwards, completely backwards. I mean we’ve never even been on a date and ended up married. I wanted you to know that I’d choose you, darlin.”

At that, Jim surged forward and they fell on each other, devouring, desperate, needy. They are awkward, bumping knees and noses and learning each other. At the same time, they are flawless together, incandescent and perfect all at once.

Jim straddled Bones on the bed, twining their fingers together and using them for leverage as he rocked against Bones. Just when Bones started to fear he would embarrass himself like a teenager, Jim wrapped their joined hands around both their cocks and stroked, their wedding rings catching on the sensitive heads. It should hurt but, somehow, the cool metal is all the more erotic against their heated skin. Jim threw his head back, his eyes shut, bliss written on his handsome features. Bones leaned over and grabbed a tube off the nightstand, dripping the slippery lubricant over their joined hands. 

He rolled Jim over onto his back, slicking his fingers with lube as he goes. He brushed his slick fingers against Jim’s entrance and Jim opened his eyes to lock on Bones. “Wanna be inside you, Jimmy.” Jim arched into him and nodded, trembling with need. Slowly, Bones worked him open, preparing him gently. Bones wanted to draw it out, to make it last, but the feel of Jim tight around his fingers overwhelmed him. After removing his fingers, he thrust deep and sure, brushing Jim’s prostate on each snap of his hips. Jim laid back on the bed, legs spread wide, arching his neck, moaning and babbling nonsense to Bones. Bones leant down onto him, so that Jim’s slick cock brushed his stomach with each thrust. 

“Bones, so close…so close…”

“Not without me, darlin.’” At Bones raspy whisper, Jim quivered against him, coming in hot, wet spurts that coat them both. Jim’s orgasm drove Bones over the edge. He filled him completely with a hoarse shout before collapsing on top of him, Jim’s hands in his hair. He felt their heartbeats thundering together. After he caught his breath, he crossed to the en suite and wets towels for them to clean up. After tidying them both up, he laid next to Jim and gathered him close. 

“Why is it so intense with you?” Jim finally said, raising his hand to stare at his wedding ring. He twirled it around his finger and then pulled it off. “There’s something inside here.”

“They’re engraved. Mine says Bones.” Bones kissed Jim’s temple and carded his fingers through his blonde hair.

“And mine says darlin.’” Jim whispered, reading the inscription. “Love you so much, Bones.”

Jim rolled on top of him and bent to kiss him deeply. Bones returns it and cuddled together, they kiss and caress each other. Jim stroked every inch of Bones skin, following his talented hands with his wicked mouth. He explored Bones’ neck, peppered his chest with kisses before licking around his nipples. Bones jumped and cradled Jim’s head against him, carding his hands through Jim’s bright hair. Jim trailed kisses down Bones’ flat stomach and hips before leaving a love bite at exactly the same place he did in Vegas.

“I have a question.”

“What? Now?” Bones moaned out.

“You could have erased the hickey I left on you in Vegas with the dermal regenerator in your kit. But you didn’t.”

Bones flushed. “That’s a statement. Not a question.”

“Why?”

“I did erase the ones on my neck that might have been visible in my scrubs. But…I liked it. I liked being marked by you.”

Jim’s blue eyes darkened to cobalt before he gave Bones another love bite on the opposite side of his belly button. “Mine.”

“Always.” Bones fisted his hands in the sheets when Jim brushed kisses down his thighs. “Don’t tease me, Jim.”

“Weren’t you the one talking about meltin’ with your lover?” Jim murmured against his knee. 

“Brat.” Bones groaned when Jim ran his tongue up the length of him and bobbed gently. He should have known that Jim would be incredibly talented. After he reduced Bones to a gibbering wreck, taking him to the brink and back again and again by using his fingers to stretch him open and brush against Bones’ prostate at the same time he used his mouth and talented tongue on his cock.

“You ever done this before?” Jim asked as he settled himself between Bones’ thighs. Bones nodded.

“Told ya I went to college, darlin. It’s fine.” 

Jim thrust into him, filling and stretching him and Bones arched up, wrapping his legs around Jim, begging “Faster, harder, more!” But Jim insisted on keeping his slow, deep, rocking pace. He timed his strokes with his hands on Bones’ cock and tugging gently on his balls, carefully, slowly, methodically taking him apart. Bones cried out just as he crested into orgasm in Jim’s fist. Jim watched him climax before thrusting deep and following him.

Much later, Jim idly ran his fingers over Bones’ back and asked, “If it hadn’t been for Nero, do you think we’d have ended up here?”

“I mighta held out a bit longer.” Bones huffed out a laugh. “But, no, I think we were always meant to be right here.”

“So, you think they’ll send us back up there after this?” Jim asked, his eyes on the constellations forming outside their window in the twilight sky.

“We agreed no work talk on our honeymoon.” Bones groused. “But, yes, I think so.”

“Will you come with me on our ship?”

“No where else I’d rather be, darlin’”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't written anything this explicit in years so I feel like quoting Dan Radcliffe from SNL "I tried, and therefore, no one should criticize me!" However, I really would like honest feedback on this because it was a major struggle for me. Thanks as always for reading and commenting!
> 
> There will be a second epilogue. I originally did not write the honeymoon and just wrote the second epilogue but my beta readers felt cheated so, here we have the honeymoon.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A second epilogue for our favorite boys...

When it turned out that their retirement celebration coincided with their fiftieth wedding anniversary, Bones and Jim returned to celebrate at their private island honeymoon paradise. At mid-afternoon on the third day, they finally dragged themselves out of bed to lay together on a double hammock, watching the waves pound against the sand, and the sun sink into the sea. 

“Happy retirement, darlin.’” Bones toasted Jim with a mai tai. “Here, put some sunscreen on.”

“You’re a nag. I’ve lived with a nag for fifty years.”

“Fifty three years, technically. And put the sunscreen on anyway.”

“You can rub it on my back.” Jim wheedled but Bones had learned to resist him, at least a bit, over the past 53 years. 

“Fine. After you rub it everywhere else first.” 

“Everywhere, Bones?” Jim said with a practiced leer. Bones just rolled his eyes as Jim swiped at his legs with the lotion, jarring the hammock and a comfy Bones.

“Hey, careful! You’re jostlin’ my drink here. So, do you think you’ll be bored in retirement, darlin’?”

“I was thinking of starting that memoir.”

“Just what the world needs.” 

“Don’t mock, Bonesy.” Jim shot him a fake glare before rubbing the lotion on Bones’ bare tummy and up his chest, straddling him and nearly tipping them both onto the sand.

“What are you planning to title your magnum opus?” Bones said, stretching lazily under Jim’s ministrations like a contented cat.

“I think I’ll go with what the tabloids called us so long ago. Space Husbands.”

“That’s not funny.”

“207 Bones.” 

“What?” Bones crinkled his brow at him in confusion, the breeze fluttering his salt and pepper hair.

“The human body has 206 bones. But, when I’m with you, I have one extra.” 

Bones stared at him, mouth slightly agape in shock. “Is that a sexual innuendo or a terrible pun?”

“Both! That’s what makes it so great!” Jim giggled like a teenager as he smoothed the lotion over Bones’ shoulders and arms.

“That is the worst joke you’ve ever told. In 53 years.”

“Fine. What should I call it?” Jim rubbed the lotion into Bones’ hands, taking special care to massage Bones’ always sore arthritic fingers. 

“Peter Pan Treks Across the Stars.”

“I think the Peter Pan title is already taken.” Jim slapped the bottle of lotion into Bones’ hand and laid down on his stomach. Bones sighed but, after securing his drink on a nearby table, sat up and began rubbing the lotion onto Jim’s back. 

“I cannot believe I wasted my youth with the boy who would never grow up.” Bones smoothed the lotion over Jim, taking care to pay special attention to Jim’s favorite erogenous zone, his shoulders. 

“So, does that make you Wendy or Tinkerbell?”

“Neither. I am the heroic and saintly doctor who saved your sorry life, over and over. Hey, you could call it Saint Bones Saves the World. Again.” 

“Not a work of fiction, Bones.” Jim laughed as Bones settled back and picked up his drink. “We did save the world a lot though.”

“67 times, by my count.”

“No, has to be more than that. Are you counting that time with the Klingons?”

“Which time? There were about 18 times with the Klingons! Forget the title. You have to write it first. How do you plan to start this memoir?”

“That part is easy! I am going to start the story on the luckiest day of my life.”

“Oh yeah? Which of those 67 world-saving times do you count as the luckiest then?”

“None.” Jim leaned up on his elbows. At Bones’ confused expression, Jim smiled and continued. “The luckiest day of my life was when I boarded a shuttle out of Riverside and got to sit next to a surly, drunk, aviaphobic doctor.”

“You old romantic.” Bones leaned over and kissed him gently. They threaded their hands together, wedding rings clinking softly as they clasped hands.

“Here’s to the next 50 years, Bones.” Jim smiled at him and then glanced up to watch the constellations form in the indigo sky.

“No where else I’d rather be, darlin’.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) The Bones saves the world is a adaptation of a Karl Urban quote from Comic-Con. Too good not to use here. 
> 
> 2) The 207 Bones thing is a tumbler meme. 
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you so much for reading this! I have really enjoyed all your comments and kudos. 
> 
> I am currently working on a story with Jim and Bones as parents as well as the missing moments from the 2009 film. I'll also have a Halloween drabble up next week. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy! Many kisses and hugs to my readers.


End file.
